The Secret

I have just discovered the newest blockbuster movie hit to strike the old Self Help world itself. It is called "The Secret" (or maybe just Secrets, I can't memember and I left my book in the bathroom). You may wonder why I of all people need a self help manual. Why??? You may ask? I seem to have it all! A wonderful apartment to rent, fresh disability checks from my most recent work related assident, and I have a k-9 companion that really takes the cake (or should I say takes the chow arf arf). But lately my old love life has been a pebble in mine shoe. It's like that thing of the song "Kissed by un Rose" by Sting essept it's kissed by a black rose of sadness. Why should every human in the world and sometimes animals get true love all the time!?! It is one of life's many justices of not being fair! Is just wrong! I was fuming today while Jonathon and I made cookie brownies. It's an invention of that thing of when you make choco chip cookie dough and have J help by pounding it with his paws and then covering it with brownies. But watch out because J hogs licking un spoon! Anyway I am not proud of my anger of always having to do things with a dog companion (please, don't tell J). What can I say, you can take a man out of love, but you can't take the love out of the man. Le sigh. Many of you in the states may not have heard of The Secret yet. It is cutting edge philosophy where I have to just think about a parking space and it will appear  of thin air. I don't mean to spout mumbo jumbo jargon of feelings like a Freud. I just have to think about love and how I never get anything I want and then think about some good things of love and how I want to finally get a perfect woman but she may come if I make a list. So far, I can't think of anything essept she has to be a woman. And a human I guess. Love is in the air, and I would love to put on some sweaters and hot cocoa and sit by a fire. I saw that on a Pinterest one time of how people love the fall....but that is neither here but there. Anyway, I will tell you how this book of tricks works in my life! It has only been 30 minutes, but I'm pretty sure I have mastered it. I have always been advanced for my age group. At boys camp I was even in charge of helping with crafts and being a boss of kids. I am what they write about in the passeges, essept I need a little more time with the whole money, relationships, and power job part. Alas....

Dolphin Tales

What a powerful movie that touched me (the good touch). The most important thing is that Winter the "dolphin" does her own stunt work. Arf arf! I love when animals are good examples to humans! It's like that thing of when they can teach us lessons about about life without speaking English, but speaking animal! The worst part of the movie was the blood scene of when the tale was ripped off. Waaaay too gross. Winter should not have let that scene in the movie because it's really hard for people to see and she really shouldn't think only of herself (I don't know if people know this, but I read somewhere that dolphins are girls only(( just like kittens and doves)). Anyway, I want to go to an aquarium so I can help animals by watching their every move in a small tank with lights and no privacy! I want to have a sleepover there like in the movie and talk about how dolphins are people. I also want to play the harmonica to a dolphin. Not a romance way, just as chums. Also when Winter was sitting with girl on a lounge floatie! Hilario! The boy with freckles had a good point too. And the Pa! Why are Pa's in movies always sooo wise??? This movie was so aspiring that I even want to start dressing like un "Surfer Dude". I'm such a goof! I want un necklace like the girl that have a wooden dolphin with hemp chain. I've always loved that look, but been too nervous to pull it off. Not anymore! A funny I have been saving for just un momento: What did Cinderella Dolphin wear to the ball??? A glass flipper! Cowabunga dudes (and dudettes of course!)

Sunrise, Sunset

Let me feel you in on some deets of my life. First, I did not actually get transferred as I was worried about in my last post. The funny things is, I had my box of work notions all packed and was trying to balance it on my knees as I rode the Stairlift, when BOOM!!!! I assidentally fell and hit my two front teeth on the concrete stairs and got a black eye. Also, some unmentionable areas were bruised to a pulp (pardon my french, I am blushing). Anyway, Martha my secretary heard me crying (on assident- I am still a man) and they had to rush me to the ER. What a day! I even got to cut in front of a dog bite victim (I'm glad Jonathon is not a violent pet). Anyway, I told my job I would sue and BINGO! HR said that this would be our little secret and that I can stay if I don't tell any lawyers about my assident (I hope lawyers aren't reading my blog as I speak. That would be bad.) What glorious news! I just can't be within 35 ft of Sasha. This new lease on life has made me glad to be me and free of any stupid romance! Who needs love! A man just needs a dog and the arts! I recently viewed the play: "Fiddler on the Roof" and indeed learned many life lessons from the character Pa about how sometimes you have to be ready for love to make the right decision. I even went to the local jewelry box store to buy a music box of Sunrise, Sunset. It is a melancholy tune that describes mine very heart. It also taught me of how sometimes you have to follow your heart about love even if someone is not Jewish like you! Alas, I don't need this stupid chemical that they call love. I know, ME a hopeless romanic! But I am renouncing love. No more of that devastating sass from Cupid. No more crying tears of pure torture. No more rejection or even trying. Because I realized something. I AM ME, that's who! I shall fall in love with myself and only focusing on giving Jonathon a good home. More quality time with him and my hobbies. I even took him to my new cooking class for fun! The students loved him! (essept for my stupid teacher). He did that thing of when Beethoven stole a ham from the table! Anyway, I am un single and NOT wanting to mingle. I feel bad for those cursed by fake love. Se La Ve.

Work-emy

Stress! Why do we have to have it? I can handle my 4 (on average) broken hearts per year. But stress? No. Let me essplain. Today at work my boss told me that I would be transferred. Transferred!?! Yes transferred! What the helicopter???  I have lived in the same town for 6 years! Pardon my theatrics. I happen to sweat when I get angry, so I shall excuse myself to get a bandana for my troubles. Back. Now, I was so mad when my boss told me that (for bad behavior reasons I must admit) I will have to leave my many friend here in town and pack up! This aint my first rodeo! (Pardon my french again. I fear I am out of control tonight!). All that happened at work 2 weeks ago was that I pushed my coworker down the stairs. But she had been my enemy for 2 years! I was framed! It's like that thing of when the mother is not looking and the child screams and says another child is pinching them but they are smiling because mother didn't see that the other child was not pinching him! Fudge! I get worked up even thinking about it! Anyway, we shall call this work-emy "Sasha". I shall not go into details, but I might have a bloody nose stroke just thinking about it! Anyway, I was framed of pushing her down the stairs! She's the one that provoked me and asked if I had met the "deadline". Who is talking death threats now?!?It's not my fault her pencil ankle snapped! How will Jonathan even adjust to a new apartment?? And finding roommates! BTW Sasha is regular suing me! Guy. What a downer! I console myself with the fact that she is just jealous. Why does everything bad always happen to me! I don't deserve this!