Happy Anversy!!!

 
Happy Anversry to me, Happy Anversry to me!!!!! Heeelllloooo! It's been a  year and I have a little over 150 whole blog views! And prolly only 97 are me! This thing has really tekkin off! So many have asked me what does the name of "7 Impossible thought before Breafext" even mean??? Well, the reason I started mine very blog is because I have so many profound, deep, organic, original thoughts. Many in fact, and ironically, before breafast. Such as, "Whatever happened to Amelia Earheart?" "Can love move a mountain?" "What does the wind say when she cries?" "Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?" "Why Sampson love Delilah?" "Did un captain of titanic cry?" "Why aren't you here with me??" ....Ah, someday I'll know. So to all the followers out there, "Say, la vi." And to the haters, get out of my life and get a life! This life is the only one we have, and suntimes you have to roll with un punches of life itself. Who cares if you're all by yourself and have crippling loneliness and shattered dreams of life?? I have the lungs, life, and Johnathon and dreams. Who knows, mebbe one day i'll be famous? But I atchully would hate being famous for it is not true happiness and that thing of you forget the little people. Alas, happy one year to me!!!!

The fires of love

A Christmas Miracle indeed! I cannot belive mine own eyes! It's like my heart was run over by a car yesterday. I was feelig like, what the heck, ok? The world was making me be the doormat and rubbing its boot in my face. Really, I am usually very private about my love life and daily struggles of love. Essept when I go through a break up, but I am a human, jeez! Anyway, last night I was so depressed about my most recent love rejection of 3 weeks ago that I had forgotten to buy my daily carton of goldfish crackers. John and I eat them like most peeps get bread or melk so I have to buy a carton a day (and not those weeny tiny bags, the gallon ones). Essept John's dr. (I call him Dr. doolittle arf arf...my little joke!) said that J can't eat them anymore since they give him gas and the preservatives are enlarging his heart. Anywhoo, I was so sad that I just put on my robe and went to the store in my pajams. I got my goldfish and was walking by the deli when I slipped in a puddle of diet coke (my shoes are from European since my uncle got them in Mexico so the heel and pointy tip sometimes cause trouble). Well that was it, I started crying since my life was a day at the dump! Then the angel comes out from the deli counter and helped me up. It was love at first sight! Like a million bandaids on my ex permanant broken heart! I will keep this private and not tell her name since you never know what weirdos are surfing the web these days. We are going on a date tomorrow and bessically talked the whole night over the deli meat that they didn't sell that day. I feel like when that thing of Wilbur can talk on Charlotte's Web! I even tried to do that same leg kick he does but I assidentally knocked over my christmas tree and pulled a hammy so John had to go for help. I have to use crutches again. Good thing I bought them since the dr. is always saying I don't "need" them. Whatever. But I don't care since I'm in LOVE! Tomorrow our date will be at the Deli since she is working off her $30,000 debt to her uncle of the owner of the store and has no time off or pay. But I will probably wear a tux and surprise her with fresh carnations! What a day! What a life! Just when everything was so hopeless my life long dream falls into my lap!

Jack Frost nipping at your heart

So love...no. I have had another issident of where I was turned down for love. It is just not that fair! I mean I am a good catch! A cad! I even remind myself of Lincoln! Johnathon is even Tad of where I carry him on my back all the time! The similarities are endless! I just feel like mine heart was scooped out like a melon. No more feeling like top dog on campus! These cold winter months are horrible on the old heart. I have even tried to take hobbies of puzzlemaking, crossstitching, and making nachos! All done on un single Saturday night, thank you very much.P.s. crosstitiching makes me frusstrated and I assidentally ripped the cloth in half and gave my finger a string cut after trying to rip the thread.  I hate trying to fill my hours! I look around and think, what more can I do to keep myself busy??? Life is truly hard when you have to think all day of how to entertain yourself. I know, a very sad life indeed. I just sit in my toasty house and eat all weekend while doing hobbies. Sad, but don't feel bad for me! I am un fighter!  I just feel like Jack Frost not only nips on your nose but also your own heart! Oh, life is truly not like a song of love you hear on the radio these days. How many years do I have to be so lonely!???? I'm glad that Johnathon cannot read this blog and can only looks at the pictures (until he lost his privileges by eating the buttons on 3 laptops. I swears, if he does it again he loses his computer time!) He is a fambly member, but I want love of the human kind. I guess I can try the old world of online dating? I wish I could just find love like on the movies. Too many times for to watch "You've Got Mail"...oh well. I guess it is back to wearing my black cape of despair. I would like to call into work for a broken heart, but I will not let the old team down! They don't mind when I have a hard time of love and need to go to the office without showering or even take a blanket and needing time of sitting on my coworkers floor while they talk me through life. So love:1, goodman: 0.....love really is the loneliest number...I finally get that song.

Thanksgibbing

Thanksgibbing.

Ah what a time! What a time to be alive! Let me take you through a typical thanks gibbing holiday at mine house! 

I go to mother's house with Jonathon and just hang loose on turkey day. I'm an only child so it's just me and the rents and maybe maybe uncle Tab. I am not a man that just vegges in front of fooseball. Oh no. I like to surprise mother by going up behind her for a hug while she is in the middle of taking the turkey out of the oven. I help in the kitchen by being a support of her biggest cheerleader (not like a costume, it is that thing of a figure of speech).

 I also like to taste test all of the foods before they are out of the table. I get so essited that I can't even finish chewing before giving mother another hug! She always does that teasing thing of, "Quit chewing in mine ear!" and hitting me with a fly swatter. I hit her back last year with a wet towel, but I assidentally sliced her cornea and we ended up in the ER. She was fine, but I learned a valuable lesson of pranks. 

Anyway, where was I?? Oh ya! We have a feast and mine mom and pops even let J eat from the table! He has his own plate and a bib of course, just like the rest of us! I learned my lesson last year of trying to make him be trained like Beethoven in the movies where he steals the turkey, but he wouldn't do it! I now  just try to appreciate him for him. 

I was reading the news on the World Wide Web itself and was outraged that workers have to work at midnight for Black Friday??? Why so late? Some of us want to buy our sammich makers and dvds right after mother makes us dinner! Come on! I love black friday myself. I love the savings! I get so many good deals of things I really need. In mine opinion it is worth the debt of going to Check City for an advance! I mean, think of all the money I'm saving on these valuable treasures! I have an eye on maybe going to Walgreens or Tarjay for a big screen tv (for Jonathan). 

I recently thought of a brilliant idea to make work easy. I fool everyone by wearing slippers to work instead of "real" shoes! They are black terry cloth and when I wear then with black nylon socks and a baggy suit no one notices!I  Thank you Burlington! I shall make a trip on B.F. to buy my year's supply! I love the holidays because it is the time of year to think of gifts all the time! What do I want? What do I need?? I love this time of year!  Ho ho ho, Happy Holidays!

Halloweenie, Halloweenie!

   Put yo hands up! Halloweenie is HEEREEEE! Pardon my theatrics, my guidance counselor Bob Budvuts said to try something new and go out of my comfort zone, which I have decided to make my mantra for All Hallows Eve. I cannot even go into detail of the love I have for this holiday and this season. I even got to attend a chili potluck/halloween party... Jonathan and I prepared my mamaw's secret chili recipe, that includes exotic flavors. But alas, the mini mart down the street didn't have the ingredients needed.... needless to say, thank goodness that potluck was anonymous! Anyway, Jonathan and I showed up in these adorable costumes, we nearly won but lost to a father and son duo dressed up as someone named Honey Boo Boo and what looked like to be a hippo in a halter dress? What in the sam hill is society up to nowadays? Jonathan and I nearly stole the show in matching jester costumes. I believe it was rigged! I honestly think people get jealous when they realize you are a formidable river dancer... All the people on my block that were there all knew of my reputation, and my flexible knees and have been jealous since last spring's talent show... but anywho...
       I read an article on the healthiest halloween candies to give out to the childrens approaching my door for un trick (perhaps I could try that thing of when you fill oreo cookies with toothpaste? blasphemy, but un good laugh) or un treat. Apparently the healthiest is Reeses, or really anything with peanut butter because of the healing properties it has with intestinal sores and the protein offered in the healthy sample of peanut butter. I want to be that thing of when you are hip with the times and concerned with the rising epidemic of obesity for children! I am practically a parent! (and a brother, and a husband, and a guidance counselor, and a BFF, really everything when it comes to Jonathan).

The Sniffles :(

This weekend has taken a turn for the worse. Because I am ill like that one thing of when there is a sister's keeper and she fights and her body and her sister is dying of cancer. It really taught me... that Cameron Diaz is truly past her prime. Anyway, in addition to being over taken by extreme allergies, while I was at my friend's rave I squirted glow stick in my eye! I know, ME?! At un rave? Relax peeps (heheheh my friend Dominic repeatedly said that when he was offering people special cake he made. Oh to be hip like Dominic and wear dream catchers!). I only stayed for about 20 minutes, and most of that was me rinsing out my eye in the bafroom and calling Jonathan on the phone to tell him to unlock the door since I was coming home soon. And imagine, I caught Jonathan doing that thing of when you had made comfort food just in case the rave didnt turn out as you planned and was wolfing it down while watching the Reba episode you had paused for to be depressed! So I did that rare thing of called discipline... I made him massage my shoulders. I am sure you are wondering how I got Jonathan to do all these things? Well young grasshoppers (Dominic!) 'tis a little wonder called youtube. In fact as I am afflicted with this infernal disease I am watching a pleasing little video of a shaved Chihuahua! How adorable. I have already showed my coworkers this video last week right before they were supposed to eat lunch in their cubicles! I have been also toying with the fact of getting un dog companion for Jonathan.... perhaps the fact that I find this video so adorable it is a sign from the universe? Well I must go, I have made the mistake of taking an entire bottle of Children's Ibuprofen. It's hilarious when Jonathan distracts me at CVS and I get the wrong meds!

Helller!!!!

All this talk of love had me thinking...STOP, I need a break to think more about myself! I am always thinking of others, it's time to do more for ME. I decided to take a break from thinking of love. I swears, it's like a cuckoo bird is always flying around my head like a cartoon essept it is a cupid (the one of when he wears a diaper like a cartoon movie.) I did away with cupid and  decided to treat myself by seeing a flick that can never fail in the humor department (drum roll please): Tyler Perry and Madea!!! What a hoot! It even made me forget about having to take out a second mortgage on my house to afford a bucket of popcorn- prices these days! (I kid, I kid! I think seeing such a funny movie rubbed off some comedy on me). If you have never seen a Tyler Perry film then you are missing out!!! Luckily in mine own estimation there are at least 64 Madea movies, so just dive right in! (I like to dive right in alphabetically, as I do own most of them and like to review them on a regalar basis). Madea herself is a hoot! I love learning about different cultures in the film. And the make up and colorful costumes!! They are such inspiring and true to life dramas! I admit that I didn't know much about how people act in the South, but now I have a very vivid and clear perception that will never change. Almost like a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of culture or something! All thanks to Tyler Perry! I love that thing of when they have so many characters that look like twins but they have different costumes and gender! How did Tyler find all those people? Whoever plays Madea, well that woman is a genius! (she and Tyler Perry must be soul mates or something! I wonder if they are good friends off the set??)  They also taught me valuable lessons in the love department! Name a life lesson and it's covered! Greed, lust, abuse, that thing of when you can do bad all by yourself....everything! One last plug- these movies should get un Oscars for Best Picture! Such strong dialogue and plot lines. Very powerful stuff. Sigh. Can you tell that they are one of my passions?? Anyway, go out and see the latest one of the Witness Protection (or should I say Witless Protection-those white peeps are clueless  LOL ;) And if you love the movies you will love the stage plays. 4 hours of singing and high pitched bickering of Madea and her friends!  My only complaint about these films is that they are all only just over 3 hours- way too short!