Christmas!!!!!

Hello and Mervy Christmas!
Wow what a morn! I mean, I subtimes have to pich myself to know that this is really not a dream of love or a movie allright? Mine sweetheart is always doing that thing of when she is always working to  get me the best prezzies! I couldn't even get her out from behind her counter to see un romanic movie! It's that one of the tale as old as time of Billy Crystal and that woman and it's like they are friends.....oh ya, "Parental Guidance!" Prolly his best work, even above "My Giant"....(a pun on words of above a giant :)

Mine sweetheart has been working nonstop to get rid of money troubles... I told her I would glady split my 23 thou and help her with it, but she always gets into un tizzy and says things of how its her problem and that she doesnt need any help from anyone cuz then that will get her into more debt and make me un liability (or sumsing, she is the brains of this love machine)! what un independent women! No making me un sammich (essept if Im un customer at the deli).

I am still waiting on her prezzie to me...I had to essplain to her that she can just say YOLO and get un credit card because they will pay your debts for you! My $23 thou doesn't add up to much, but with my credit cards I can live like a king and just buy everything I want! I don't get why adults are always being like, "my bills!" What a downer. This huge secret of life is just looking them in the face!

Geez, anyway, last night I went over to my neighbor Darlene's for Christmas Eve. She said I could come I guess if I really had nowhere else to go but I probably wouldn't even have fun anyway but I guess you could come. Such a jokie! She is deaf so everything was written on a white board. I bought Jonathan a nice reindeer sweater when they are playing soccer together on my company credit card and showed him off at Darlene's! Only this bozo named "Phillip" was "deathly allergic" to my "dog" and had to excuse himself from the game of charades, me thinks just as un excuse to hit Jonathan with his blind stick. People these days. Just because you are blind doesn't mean you are above animals! I think he is rull mad that his lady friend had ended things just days earlier and saw (sensed???? smelt?????) un helpless soul in the room and took out all his anger! How are he call himself a relative of that classy lady known as Darlene! Grumpy Cat!

So I took my famous Devil eggs over to contribute to un feast. No Grich here! John helped me chill them. I missed mine sweatheart so I did that thig of blowing breath on all the window and drawing hearts with my fingers. What can I say Im a hopeless romanic. We had tons of awesome foods: ham, jellos, meatballs, lil smokies, bacob, cake pops, peanut butter...it was like that romanic song of "Muskrat Love" of when they were nibblin on bacon, chewin on cheese. Subtimes, being in love is just as hard as being alone because when you have a woman who is in debt for 30,000 dollars to her "uncle" and she works 24/7 365 days....sigh.

But, I like to think of us of having un timeless love like the muskrats. Like we are always walking on air, wearing un bow tie and flirty dress, dancing on peeps shoulders. Anyway, we played games into the wee hours of the night--- my sleeping habits didn't catch up with me for once! It was truly a debacle. I was even awake longer than all of Darlene's relatives, up until 2 in the morn! I kept asking Darlene questions, even when she was being vague and said it was none of my business so I always was moving on to different subjects, because, what can I say, Darlene is my idol! It was weird, the electricity went out just as I was about to ask Darlene for her war journals, and I had to take Jonathan home to get a night's rest.  She said that thing of how tomorrow is family only and goodnight, but I think that was just for guests who cant take a hint and invite themselves over. So ham dinner today!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgCk3bnvO5Y

Happy Anversy!!!

 
Happy Anversry to me, Happy Anversry to me!!!!! Heeelllloooo! It's been a  year and I have a little over 150 whole blog views! And prolly only 97 are me! This thing has really tekkin off! So many have asked me what does the name of "7 Impossible thought before Breafext" even mean??? Well, the reason I started mine very blog is because I have so many profound, deep, organic, original thoughts. Many in fact, and ironically, before breafast. Such as, "Whatever happened to Amelia Earheart?" "Can love move a mountain?" "What does the wind say when she cries?" "Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?" "Why Sampson love Delilah?" "Did un captain of titanic cry?" "Why aren't you here with me??" ....Ah, someday I'll know. So to all the followers out there, "Say, la vi." And to the haters, get out of my life and get a life! This life is the only one we have, and suntimes you have to roll with un punches of life itself. Who cares if you're all by yourself and have crippling loneliness and shattered dreams of life?? I have the lungs, life, and Johnathon and dreams. Who knows, mebbe one day i'll be famous? But I atchully would hate being famous for it is not true happiness and that thing of you forget the little people. Alas, happy one year to me!!!!

The fires of love

A Christmas Miracle indeed! I cannot belive mine own eyes! It's like my heart was run over by a car yesterday. I was feelig like, what the heck, ok? The world was making me be the doormat and rubbing its boot in my face. Really, I am usually very private about my love life and daily struggles of love. Essept when I go through a break up, but I am a human, jeez! Anyway, last night I was so depressed about my most recent love rejection of 3 weeks ago that I had forgotten to buy my daily carton of goldfish crackers. John and I eat them like most peeps get bread or melk so I have to buy a carton a day (and not those weeny tiny bags, the gallon ones). Essept John's dr. (I call him Dr. doolittle arf arf...my little joke!) said that J can't eat them anymore since they give him gas and the preservatives are enlarging his heart. Anywhoo, I was so sad that I just put on my robe and went to the store in my pajams. I got my goldfish and was walking by the deli when I slipped in a puddle of diet coke (my shoes are from European since my uncle got them in Mexico so the heel and pointy tip sometimes cause trouble). Well that was it, I started crying since my life was a day at the dump! Then the angel comes out from the deli counter and helped me up. It was love at first sight! Like a million bandaids on my ex permanant broken heart! I will keep this private and not tell her name since you never know what weirdos are surfing the web these days. We are going on a date tomorrow and bessically talked the whole night over the deli meat that they didn't sell that day. I feel like when that thing of Wilbur can talk on Charlotte's Web! I even tried to do that same leg kick he does but I assidentally knocked over my christmas tree and pulled a hammy so John had to go for help. I have to use crutches again. Good thing I bought them since the dr. is always saying I don't "need" them. Whatever. But I don't care since I'm in LOVE! Tomorrow our date will be at the Deli since she is working off her $30,000 debt to her uncle of the owner of the store and has no time off or pay. But I will probably wear a tux and surprise her with fresh carnations! What a day! What a life! Just when everything was so hopeless my life long dream falls into my lap!

Jack Frost nipping at your heart

So love...no. I have had another issident of where I was turned down for love. It is just not that fair! I mean I am a good catch! A cad! I even remind myself of Lincoln! Johnathon is even Tad of where I carry him on my back all the time! The similarities are endless! I just feel like mine heart was scooped out like a melon. No more feeling like top dog on campus! These cold winter months are horrible on the old heart. I have even tried to take hobbies of puzzlemaking, crossstitching, and making nachos! All done on un single Saturday night, thank you very much.P.s. crosstitiching makes me frusstrated and I assidentally ripped the cloth in half and gave my finger a string cut after trying to rip the thread.  I hate trying to fill my hours! I look around and think, what more can I do to keep myself busy??? Life is truly hard when you have to think all day of how to entertain yourself. I know, a very sad life indeed. I just sit in my toasty house and eat all weekend while doing hobbies. Sad, but don't feel bad for me! I am un fighter!  I just feel like Jack Frost not only nips on your nose but also your own heart! Oh, life is truly not like a song of love you hear on the radio these days. How many years do I have to be so lonely!???? I'm glad that Johnathon cannot read this blog and can only looks at the pictures (until he lost his privileges by eating the buttons on 3 laptops. I swears, if he does it again he loses his computer time!) He is a fambly member, but I want love of the human kind. I guess I can try the old world of online dating? I wish I could just find love like on the movies. Too many times for to watch "You've Got Mail"...oh well. I guess it is back to wearing my black cape of despair. I would like to call into work for a broken heart, but I will not let the old team down! They don't mind when I have a hard time of love and need to go to the office without showering or even take a blanket and needing time of sitting on my coworkers floor while they talk me through life. So love:1, goodman: 0.....love really is the loneliest number...I finally get that song.

Thanksgibbing

Thanksgibbing.

Ah what a time! What a time to be alive! Let me take you through a typical thanks gibbing holiday at mine house! 

I go to mother's house with Jonathon and just hang loose on turkey day. I'm an only child so it's just me and the rents and maybe maybe uncle Tab. I am not a man that just vegges in front of fooseball. Oh no. I like to surprise mother by going up behind her for a hug while she is in the middle of taking the turkey out of the oven. I help in the kitchen by being a support of her biggest cheerleader (not like a costume, it is that thing of a figure of speech).

 I also like to taste test all of the foods before they are out of the table. I get so essited that I can't even finish chewing before giving mother another hug! She always does that teasing thing of, "Quit chewing in mine ear!" and hitting me with a fly swatter. I hit her back last year with a wet towel, but I assidentally sliced her cornea and we ended up in the ER. She was fine, but I learned a valuable lesson of pranks. 

Anyway, where was I?? Oh ya! We have a feast and mine mom and pops even let J eat from the table! He has his own plate and a bib of course, just like the rest of us! I learned my lesson last year of trying to make him be trained like Beethoven in the movies where he steals the turkey, but he wouldn't do it! I now  just try to appreciate him for him. 

I was reading the news on the World Wide Web itself and was outraged that workers have to work at midnight for Black Friday??? Why so late? Some of us want to buy our sammich makers and dvds right after mother makes us dinner! Come on! I love black friday myself. I love the savings! I get so many good deals of things I really need. In mine opinion it is worth the debt of going to Check City for an advance! I mean, think of all the money I'm saving on these valuable treasures! I have an eye on maybe going to Walgreens or Tarjay for a big screen tv (for Jonathan). 

I recently thought of a brilliant idea to make work easy. I fool everyone by wearing slippers to work instead of "real" shoes! They are black terry cloth and when I wear then with black nylon socks and a baggy suit no one notices!I  Thank you Burlington! I shall make a trip on B.F. to buy my year's supply! I love the holidays because it is the time of year to think of gifts all the time! What do I want? What do I need?? I love this time of year!  Ho ho ho, Happy Holidays!

Halloweenie, Halloweenie!

   Put yo hands up! Halloweenie is HEEREEEE! Pardon my theatrics, my guidance counselor Bob Budvuts said to try something new and go out of my comfort zone, which I have decided to make my mantra for All Hallows Eve. I cannot even go into detail of the love I have for this holiday and this season. I even got to attend a chili potluck/halloween party... Jonathan and I prepared my mamaw's secret chili recipe, that includes exotic flavors. But alas, the mini mart down the street didn't have the ingredients needed.... needless to say, thank goodness that potluck was anonymous! Anyway, Jonathan and I showed up in these adorable costumes, we nearly won but lost to a father and son duo dressed up as someone named Honey Boo Boo and what looked like to be a hippo in a halter dress? What in the sam hill is society up to nowadays? Jonathan and I nearly stole the show in matching jester costumes. I believe it was rigged! I honestly think people get jealous when they realize you are a formidable river dancer... All the people on my block that were there all knew of my reputation, and my flexible knees and have been jealous since last spring's talent show... but anywho...
       I read an article on the healthiest halloween candies to give out to the childrens approaching my door for un trick (perhaps I could try that thing of when you fill oreo cookies with toothpaste? blasphemy, but un good laugh) or un treat. Apparently the healthiest is Reeses, or really anything with peanut butter because of the healing properties it has with intestinal sores and the protein offered in the healthy sample of peanut butter. I want to be that thing of when you are hip with the times and concerned with the rising epidemic of obesity for children! I am practically a parent! (and a brother, and a husband, and a guidance counselor, and a BFF, really everything when it comes to Jonathan).

The Sniffles :(

This weekend has taken a turn for the worse. Because I am ill like that one thing of when there is a sister's keeper and she fights and her body and her sister is dying of cancer. It really taught me... that Cameron Diaz is truly past her prime. Anyway, in addition to being over taken by extreme allergies, while I was at my friend's rave I squirted glow stick in my eye! I know, ME?! At un rave? Relax peeps (heheheh my friend Dominic repeatedly said that when he was offering people special cake he made. Oh to be hip like Dominic and wear dream catchers!). I only stayed for about 20 minutes, and most of that was me rinsing out my eye in the bafroom and calling Jonathan on the phone to tell him to unlock the door since I was coming home soon. And imagine, I caught Jonathan doing that thing of when you had made comfort food just in case the rave didnt turn out as you planned and was wolfing it down while watching the Reba episode you had paused for to be depressed! So I did that rare thing of called discipline... I made him massage my shoulders. I am sure you are wondering how I got Jonathan to do all these things? Well young grasshoppers (Dominic!) 'tis a little wonder called youtube. In fact as I am afflicted with this infernal disease I am watching a pleasing little video of a shaved Chihuahua! How adorable. I have already showed my coworkers this video last week right before they were supposed to eat lunch in their cubicles! I have been also toying with the fact of getting un dog companion for Jonathan.... perhaps the fact that I find this video so adorable it is a sign from the universe? Well I must go, I have made the mistake of taking an entire bottle of Children's Ibuprofen. It's hilarious when Jonathan distracts me at CVS and I get the wrong meds!

Helller!!!!

All this talk of love had me thinking...STOP, I need a break to think more about myself! I am always thinking of others, it's time to do more for ME. I decided to take a break from thinking of love. I swears, it's like a cuckoo bird is always flying around my head like a cartoon essept it is a cupid (the one of when he wears a diaper like a cartoon movie.) I did away with cupid and  decided to treat myself by seeing a flick that can never fail in the humor department (drum roll please): Tyler Perry and Madea!!! What a hoot! It even made me forget about having to take out a second mortgage on my house to afford a bucket of popcorn- prices these days! (I kid, I kid! I think seeing such a funny movie rubbed off some comedy on me). If you have never seen a Tyler Perry film then you are missing out!!! Luckily in mine own estimation there are at least 64 Madea movies, so just dive right in! (I like to dive right in alphabetically, as I do own most of them and like to review them on a regalar basis). Madea herself is a hoot! I love learning about different cultures in the film. And the make up and colorful costumes!! They are such inspiring and true to life dramas! I admit that I didn't know much about how people act in the South, but now I have a very vivid and clear perception that will never change. Almost like a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of culture or something! All thanks to Tyler Perry! I love that thing of when they have so many characters that look like twins but they have different costumes and gender! How did Tyler find all those people? Whoever plays Madea, well that woman is a genius! (she and Tyler Perry must be soul mates or something! I wonder if they are good friends off the set??)  They also taught me valuable lessons in the love department! Name a life lesson and it's covered! Greed, lust, abuse, that thing of when you can do bad all by yourself....everything! One last plug- these movies should get un Oscars for Best Picture! Such strong dialogue and plot lines. Very powerful stuff. Sigh. Can you tell that they are one of my passions?? Anyway, go out and see the latest one of the Witness Protection (or should I say Witless Protection-those white peeps are clueless  LOL ;) And if you love the movies you will love the stage plays. 4 hours of singing and high pitched bickering of Madea and her friends!  My only complaint about these films is that they are all only just over 3 hours- way too short!

The Secret

I have just discovered the newest blockbuster movie hit to strike the old Self Help world itself. It is called "The Secret" (or maybe just Secrets, I can't memember and I left my book in the bathroom). You may wonder why I of all people need a self help manual. Why??? You may ask? I seem to have it all! A wonderful apartment to rent, fresh disability checks from my most recent work related assident, and I have a k-9 companion that really takes the cake (or should I say takes the chow arf arf). But lately my old love life has been a pebble in mine shoe. It's like that thing of the song "Kissed by un Rose" by Sting essept it's kissed by a black rose of sadness. Why should every human in the world and sometimes animals get true love all the time!?! It is one of life's many justices of not being fair! Is just wrong! I was fuming today while Jonathon and I made cookie brownies. It's an invention of that thing of when you make choco chip cookie dough and have J help by pounding it with his paws and then covering it with brownies. But watch out because J hogs licking un spoon! Anyway I am not proud of my anger of always having to do things with a dog companion (please, don't tell J). What can I say, you can take a man out of love, but you can't take the love out of the man. Le sigh. Many of you in the states may not have heard of The Secret yet. It is cutting edge philosophy where I have to just think about a parking space and it will appear  of thin air. I don't mean to spout mumbo jumbo jargon of feelings like a Freud. I just have to think about love and how I never get anything I want and then think about some good things of love and how I want to finally get a perfect woman but she may come if I make a list. So far, I can't think of anything essept she has to be a woman. And a human I guess. Love is in the air, and I would love to put on some sweaters and hot cocoa and sit by a fire. I saw that on a Pinterest one time of how people love the fall....but that is neither here but there. Anyway, I will tell you how this book of tricks works in my life! It has only been 30 minutes, but I'm pretty sure I have mastered it. I have always been advanced for my age group. At boys camp I was even in charge of helping with crafts and being a boss of kids. I am what they write about in the passeges, essept I need a little more time with the whole money, relationships, and power job part. Alas....

Dolphin Tales

What a powerful movie that touched me (the good touch). The most important thing is that Winter the "dolphin" does her own stunt work. Arf arf! I love when animals are good examples to humans! It's like that thing of when they can teach us lessons about about life without speaking English, but speaking animal! The worst part of the movie was the blood scene of when the tale was ripped off. Waaaay too gross. Winter should not have let that scene in the movie because it's really hard for people to see and she really shouldn't think only of herself (I don't know if people know this, but I read somewhere that dolphins are girls only(( just like kittens and doves)). Anyway, I want to go to an aquarium so I can help animals by watching their every move in a small tank with lights and no privacy! I want to have a sleepover there like in the movie and talk about how dolphins are people. I also want to play the harmonica to a dolphin. Not a romance way, just as chums. Also when Winter was sitting with girl on a lounge floatie! Hilario! The boy with freckles had a good point too. And the Pa! Why are Pa's in movies always sooo wise??? This movie was so aspiring that I even want to start dressing like un "Surfer Dude". I'm such a goof! I want un necklace like the girl that have a wooden dolphin with hemp chain. I've always loved that look, but been too nervous to pull it off. Not anymore! A funny I have been saving for just un momento: What did Cinderella Dolphin wear to the ball??? A glass flipper! Cowabunga dudes (and dudettes of course!)

Sunrise, Sunset

Let me feel you in on some deets of my life. First, I did not actually get transferred as I was worried about in my last post. The funny things is, I had my box of work notions all packed and was trying to balance it on my knees as I rode the Stairlift, when BOOM!!!! I assidentally fell and hit my two front teeth on the concrete stairs and got a black eye. Also, some unmentionable areas were bruised to a pulp (pardon my french, I am blushing). Anyway, Martha my secretary heard me crying (on assident- I am still a man) and they had to rush me to the ER. What a day! I even got to cut in front of a dog bite victim (I'm glad Jonathon is not a violent pet). Anyway, I told my job I would sue and BINGO! HR said that this would be our little secret and that I can stay if I don't tell any lawyers about my assident (I hope lawyers aren't reading my blog as I speak. That would be bad.) What glorious news! I just can't be within 35 ft of Sasha. This new lease on life has made me glad to be me and free of any stupid romance! Who needs love! A man just needs a dog and the arts! I recently viewed the play: "Fiddler on the Roof" and indeed learned many life lessons from the character Pa about how sometimes you have to be ready for love to make the right decision. I even went to the local jewelry box store to buy a music box of Sunrise, Sunset. It is a melancholy tune that describes mine very heart. It also taught me of how sometimes you have to follow your heart about love even if someone is not Jewish like you! Alas, I don't need this stupid chemical that they call love. I know, ME a hopeless romanic! But I am renouncing love. No more of that devastating sass from Cupid. No more crying tears of pure torture. No more rejection or even trying. Because I realized something. I AM ME, that's who! I shall fall in love with myself and only focusing on giving Jonathon a good home. More quality time with him and my hobbies. I even took him to my new cooking class for fun! The students loved him! (essept for my stupid teacher). He did that thing of when Beethoven stole a ham from the table! Anyway, I am un single and NOT wanting to mingle. I feel bad for those cursed by fake love. Se La Ve.

Work-emy

Stress! Why do we have to have it? I can handle my 4 (on average) broken hearts per year. But stress? No. Let me essplain. Today at work my boss told me that I would be transferred. Transferred!?! Yes transferred! What the helicopter???  I have lived in the same town for 6 years! Pardon my theatrics. I happen to sweat when I get angry, so I shall excuse myself to get a bandana for my troubles. Back. Now, I was so mad when my boss told me that (for bad behavior reasons I must admit) I will have to leave my many friend here in town and pack up! This aint my first rodeo! (Pardon my french again. I fear I am out of control tonight!). All that happened at work 2 weeks ago was that I pushed my coworker down the stairs. But she had been my enemy for 2 years! I was framed! It's like that thing of when the mother is not looking and the child screams and says another child is pinching them but they are smiling because mother didn't see that the other child was not pinching him! Fudge! I get worked up even thinking about it! Anyway, we shall call this work-emy "Sasha". I shall not go into details, but I might have a bloody nose stroke just thinking about it! Anyway, I was framed of pushing her down the stairs! She's the one that provoked me and asked if I had met the "deadline". Who is talking death threats now?!?It's not my fault her pencil ankle snapped! How will Jonathan even adjust to a new apartment?? And finding roommates! BTW Sasha is regular suing me! Guy. What a downer! I console myself with the fact that she is just jealous. Why does everything bad always happen to me! I don't deserve this!

Vacation!

Aww, back again! It feel good to be "plugged" in again after taking a break from the ole rat race of Pinterest, AOL chat, and the old blog.  I miss the simple days of childhood when times were simpler and not everyone was on the internet 24/7! Childhood was a pure time when you could stay home all summer long and play your own video games all day long without getting kidnapped thank you very much. But enough about technology-pardon me for I did not intend to turn into Steve Banks of Microsoft. Anyways, where did I go you ask? Why Jonathan and I took a much needed Bro-neymoon. I kid- we went on a road trip! Trips are best spent with animals rather than people. Jo-Bro and I barked along to the songs of the late 90's (I can yap a mean rendition of Mr. Jones by the "Counting Crows" arf arf). We shared chocolate bars and road food until the cows came home. Or should I say until the dogs came home. Arf!  The only problem is when Jonathon had accidents on the floor of the casino and gas station. Oh ya and the A&W.  People are so rude sometimes about babies and dogs having accidents. This is a free country! My number one rule of travel is #1: there are no rules! and #2 : that only junk food is allowed! J did this thing of when he would start to pretend to whine and have diarrhea when I would only give him Fanta, soda, and hot peanuts! Hilarious! The best part of the trip: we were celebrating because I adopted Jonathan because his owner was arrested last week and said I could take him!!! I've never had a little brother before! So J and I drove down to Gramma's retirement community so I could introduce him to the fam. We spent 3 days driving, and then 2 days going to Target and helping Gramma clean her animal cages. Then 3 more days on the road!!!! Bow-chika-wow-wow!

Can't we all just get along?

On my recent travels about town I recently experienced a hate crime towards me. There, I said it. I can barely even speak about it on my paper, so I shall not. The only witness was Jonathon, my neighbor's dog. Dear, sweet Jonathon. Dog don't see color. Or even what race a soul is. It is hard for me going through the world as a blonde white man. But don't cry for me Argentina. Recently seeing the film, "The Help" 9 months ago really helped me learn...how to get revenge on those who have wronged you! If I ever see those teenagers again! Well, I shall leave you with food for your thought.  Every and Ivory, together with each other are like in a Piano. Can't we all just get along and make sweet music????

Crazy, Stupid Love: Stupid, Crazy Love!

After viewing the film "Crazy, Stupid, Love", I started to indeed hate myself and un movie for making me believe that "Love" can indeed happen! So many unrealistic advertising! I should sue as did an woman sued Nutella for making her believe it is a health food! But that is neither here, but there. Back to the movie. Divorce seems too sad. Why don't people know that they can avoid this tragedy by not getting into marriage at all?!? Or relationships with anyone. Or thing for that matter! Better to never love so one never experiences loss. And the young boy is somewhat of a hopeless pervert. Romeo? Pervio is more like it! And don't get me started on how all the ladies swoon and say he is the hottest man they have ever seen. That Josh Groban is a force to be messed with! So love....no. I give up. I shall take Jonathon on a men's road trip. Maybe I will even ask my neighbor's permission, since he is always saying that as the "owner" I can't "do things like that". Pschh! Forgive me for my cranky mood! I think I may have the blues!

A Summer Song

Ahhh! Once again Summer is upon me. In my own little corner, in my own little chair, I can be whomever I want to be. Tee-hee. I shall wake up late everyday and bathe in the sun's nourishing heat until my skin is the warm sensation (or should I say sun-sation lol) of a tangelo in the sun. Like mother's milk! I'll even get me some rays! Everyone is wondering, if I will even find my own true summer love? One can never tell! In fact just the other day I was sketching my neighbor's dog Jonathan in the park by my house. My eyes came upon the most beautiful dog I have ever seen! I couldn't resist playing Cupid, as Jonathan is my best friend these days. I was being a bro! I could just tell that my own borrowed pup might fancy this girl dog. I let Jonathan loose from his leash to go meet his babe. Alas, the beautiful gal had to use a doggy wheelchair. Jonathan kept trying to rip it off her paws! He was not a Lady but a Tramp indeed! I hope the owner's insurances will cover the damages. Afflac! Lol. I kid, i kid. On a more serious note, life is like that sometimes. This far reaching goal of me finding LOVE may take a hiatus for the summer! In fact, my dream of LOVE may kick back her feet in the sand and curl up with a good Gabriel Cousin's novel! Don't forget the sunscreen lol! This will leave me time to heal from my recent break up of 9 months ago, and really discover me!

Mr. Romanic

Many have asked for an update on Operation: Finding Goodwoman for Love. You may think by this clever play on words that I am not taking this quest for THE perfect woman will all my heart. Behind this witty banter lies the sad blue heart of a young lion, not having a large mane, but a teen lion with a man's haircut like un Simba. It's like the song of when Britney Spears sings, "Not a girl yet, not a woman". But with a man of course! Get un mind out of the gutter arf arf.  What I'm trying to say is that I have not learned my game with the ladies! Women! One day they are saying they will maybe go on a date with me in a few weeks if they aren't busy. They are crazy with love for me! They are desperate to speak with me, 'I'll call you, don't call me.' Or, they are so mysterious that they never give me their phone digits so I have to go on a quest of love to find it on the world wide web itself! Or they ignore my calls and texts and gifts as a secret message to me to try harder! So that is my life, being Mr. Romanic. Love will prevail! If any of you out in the void have ideas of romance, let me know! One cannot rely solely on doing the date of Alfalfa and Darla from Lil Rascals every time!!!

Un Monkey's Uncle

I recently viewed the film "Chimpanzee." The writers truly wrote un amazing film. How did they think of all of the jungle's circle of life?? Spoiler alert!*! the monkeys, are in fact, real monkeys and not tiny humans of when they wear Halloween costumes in nature's wonderland! The characters are Oscar, a young monkey who is a boy, Mama, and Freddie, un leader of the pack.
I  loved when Oscar says to Mama that it can learn to open nuts with a rock, i about cried and laughed at the same time!  Freddie must let Oscar ride on his back for to be a mother to young Oscar.
But there is a devastating twist of when a sadness that comes but my lips are seals arf arf. Pardon my pun of animals. An amazing film! Besides the Iron Lady, the best film of the year!!!

Lady Ocean

Off to the coast for some much needed R&R.  It is so good to get out of my small world.
If one ever desires to feel small, stand with one's arms stretched out in a wingspan on the shore of Lady Ocean.

Just ask survivors of "Titanic."  As I aforementioned, I am mainly lonely and a little lost.  Can the ocean in fact wean my broken heart of its black despair?  I shall try my best to smile and be happy--not hapless.  What a far reaching personal goal.  Can the ocean's water really act as a balm?

I have packed my very own ham sammitch, and shall leave my thoughts momentarily to close one's eyes and savor this good food.  Bon voyage.

Beach, please!

A brisk day at the beach.  So many thoughts--in fact, as many thoughts as grains of sand.


"You memember me when the west wind blows on the fields of barley."  

That phrase of a song explains the scenic beauty far better than oneself ever could. The golden tendrils of lady sun melting on top of her sister Oceana.  On the boardwalk I witnessed my fair share of lovers holding hands.  Sigh.  This circle of life continues in a circle.  Sometimes in life.  Sometimes in death.

The seagulls chirp and cry as they look for bits of bread from humans.  Big and small.  But I shall call them she-galls, since I believe in gender equality.  We are so small against the ocean.

My Own Words

With this new year that has just taken its breath there are so many possibilities out there with my name on them. One night I was sitting on my couch after t.v. and mt heart felt like that part in "My Best Friend's Wedding" when they dance on the boat and the bridge makes a shadow and the moment past. I was thinking, this is a year that I should be me! Celebrate me as a person and a human. So tonight I decided that I shall either do comedy at a club OR tell witty stories at open mic night. I shall use this very blog to write and practice my material. What is my comedy style? Well many of you remember the show "Full House" and how friend Joey Gladstone is a stand-up comedian? Well my style is like the young Taj Mowry who plays Teddy, Michelle's friend. I just feel like my soul is waiting to tell stories in a way that the spoken word can speak to people. I shall be a renaissance un man, who does one thing so well. I have confidence, in ME!

The Bachelor

I have been doing research on love, and as part of that research, I have been observing the show of "The Bachelor." I have been learning many things of love, and how dating is in the real world. I have been doing dating all wrong lolololol. What a lucky man to hold in his own hands all those beautiful...roses. These are highest quality roses, like velvet that you can rub on your face or make a joke by putting it in your teeth to be romantic. The women are ok, but not my type at all. Oh to be master of the roses and hand them out! I think that the closest I have ever been to having a bachelor un moment was when I handed out daisies to all the mothers on mother's day at church. What a lucky devil (pardon the pun of religion ;). I wonder if those roses are as soft as the kleenex with lotion squirted into them??? Maybe one day I can have a love triangle and pretend I am Ben Flajnik? Too bad I do not have a strong chin, curled hair, and fancy blazers. Sigh. It is indeed a rich man's world? I may not stand a chance, but one day I will be the bachelor of my own life!

Advice. We all need it sometimes

 So I am somewhat of a person who gives great advice. I put out add for people to send me their prolems. Ta-da!! I hope this helps many people in the community and world and even universe:

Dear impossible breakfast:
I’m from a very small town...I mean if my cat had a litter of kittens everyone would know about it before noon. Anyway, my ex is coming into town this weekend and he’s bringing his new “fiancee”. He’s bringing her around to meet the whole clan and I just don’t know if I’m ready to face him and his new found love. The whole town is coming together for a celebratory dinner and I was invited by my ex’s family. So my question, do I go? I’m not currently dating anyone so should I bring my best guy friend? OR should I just stay home and watch pay-per-view? help!
 Sincerely, Broken Hearted

Dear Broken Hearted, First I shall say that we sound like twins. I too have had many a broken heard from past lovers. I once had a recent break up 7 months ago where I could tell on FB that she was always secretly trying to make
me feel jealous. The trick was to take the bait but always do it in private where you can weep and get your feeligs out. What i am saying is that I wonder if I will ever move on again or will i
always be lonely? Your ex sounds like a pompous American, like a Dalmatian who tries to wear a top hat just for stupid attention. Don’t go to the clan’s feast. Instead send a friend to go and either secretly film it or write down every detail so you can replay if over and over in your mind, preferably every night before you slumber. Because you just shouldn’t move forward. Instead dwell on the love you are missing in your life and never give up or give anyone else another chance. It is a true romance story. Yours, impossible breafest

Fashion

Fashion. Fashion? Fashion! It's everywhere! After a trip into the big city I couldn't help but notice that merhaps I need to spiff up the old closet and show the world who I really am. This may sound odd, but I use fashion to express my individuality. I prefer to shop for vintage, unique, and avant- garde pieces. I adore shops such as "Target", "Eddie Baur", and of course "Talbots". Their style for mens are quite liberating. People always tell me, they say, "You are the.most. fashionable. person!!!" They ask how I do it? Well it is a gift I was born in. I joke that I in fact came out of the womb in a 4 piece suit ;) But that is neither here but here. Next time you want to be in fashion, just start a trend and throw on a scarf or even a pendent. Who knows, mebbe you can learn a page from my book...my fashion book ;)